Episode 13: Dating a Man with Kids / And Dating Fun with Waylon Lewis

Stories told by Stacie and Kenyon with Perspective by Waylon Lewis.

Dating a Man with Kids

“You expressed to me the hurt in the fact that it wasn’t your decision. Like you felt helpless because you were, like, ‘It’s not my decision whether I want kids or not.’ You felt like I was making the decision for you.”

Stacie was 28, Kenyon was 42. Kenyon is already a father of two kids and has decided he doesn’t want more children. For Stacie, a young woman in a relatively new stepfamily relationship, the unanswered question remains if she wants kids of her own in the future.

In the second half of the show, Andy talks with Waylon Lewis, founder of the online magazine Elephant Journal, and host of the webcast “Walk the Talk.” They discuss Buddhism, dating, and how Waylon’s mom is ready for him to get married.

Additional Information and Resources:

Read, follow, and learn more about Waylon Lewis at Elephant Journal, Twitter @elephantjournal, @walkthetalkshow, and Facebook @elephantjournal, and Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis

Things I Would Like to Do With You book by Waylon Lewis 

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche (1939-1987), founder of Shambhala

The Pema Chödrön Foundation Pema Chödrön is an American Tibetan Buddhist and teacher. She is the author of many influential books, such as When Things Fall Apart, Living Beautifully, and The Places that Scare You.

The Bucket List Life Fun Adventures & Philanthropic Events, Kenyon Salo, Founder

The Many New Faces of the American Family” The Atlantic

Real Talk on Real Families By Courtney E. Martin, On Being

Family Story Project Because there’s more than one right way to be a family.

Julie Hanks on Co-Parenting By Julie Hanks, licensed clinical social worker, family therapist, consultant, and author of The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships. (Guest on Elephant Talk Episode 8)

“Dating a Guy With Kids? 6 Things You Must Find Out!” By Mary T. Kelly, M.A., Huffington Post

An Adoption Story TEDx By Jillian Lauren, author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, Some Girls: My Life in a Harem

Adoptive Families

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2017-05-16T06:39:01+00:00 May 9th, 2017|podcast|2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Barbet May 17, 2017 at 1:48 am - Reply

    I really deeply wonder why Stacie and Kenyon are not encouraged to talk at all about the possibility of Kenyon having a baby with her at some point, and what this would mean for him. For me, there is this hard and untouched rule in the relationship which is never discussed as an Elephant in the room. Its all about how she accommodates to his needs – but what if one day her wish gets so strong, that she would leave him and then he could think, well may be in order to be with her, I could have another child? I would have loved to have a more balanced perspective on that.

    • Lisa Gray May 17, 2017 at 6:20 pm - Reply

      Dear Barbet,
      I love that you brought this up. They did bring it up with one another during the full recorded conversation. Kenyon is at a stage in his life that he has committed to not having more children. They discussed the “What if?” possibility of Stacie deciding to have her own or adopt a child in the future, but, for them, there is no answer, yet, as to what that would mean for the relationship. They continue to focus on the here and now, however, fully aware of that elephant in the room of uncertainty. It was clear to us that it was a non-negotiable already-talked-about-topic between the two of them. For the sake of the show and the listeners, perhaps we should have included this discussion and gone deeper. I also think you might be speaking to a bit of a power imbalance. The fact that Kenyon is male and much older than Stacie increases the significance of raising the question for them. Thanks for your writing and sending your question – it’s got us provoked in a beautiful way. We will follow up with Kenyon and Stacie and ask them about how things have progressed since their recorded conversation together.
      Sincerely,
      Andy
      Creator & Host

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